Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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