I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
