1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
it glows. i had to have it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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