I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
