..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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