For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
