He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
