Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
