she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
