Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
