At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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