Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
