And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
