If i come over, it means nothing
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
