There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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