I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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