We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
