I think I am morally bankrupt
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
