Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
is wine microwaveable?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize