Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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