This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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