She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
