is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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