I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
