come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
