I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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