its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
