Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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