is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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