So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
so much tequila, so little girl.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
