so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just gift wrapped bread.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
