i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
