i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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