Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
