the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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