Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
