No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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