I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
