There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize