return my video game
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
