Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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