question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
