Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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