Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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