U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
