My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
