pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Congratulations! We have a period
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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