PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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