there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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