If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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