How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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