that's an acceptable place to lick
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
