nut hugger
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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