Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
