It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
