I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
home. puking in laundry basket.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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