wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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