I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
