You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
